TW: I will be mentioning suicide in this week's post.
This week, I wanted to reflect on my weekend so be warned that it's kind of rambly.
This last weekend, I traveled to Salem, Massachusetts, to attend the annual Browncoat Ball. Quick connext: This is an annual gathering of fans of the TV show Firefly that ends with a ball on Saturday night. I knew there would be constant reminders of Cheryl but went anyway.
For anyone that has lost someone close to suicide, we know it can be stressful when you're in a place or at an event that constantly reminds you of your loved one. And it can be easy to isolate or avoid things because you don't want to provoke those emotions.
It has been almost 2 years since the world lost Cheryl. That's so weird to think! It feels like it just happened & that it happed a lifetime ago. And she would be so mad at me if I let her decision stop me from enjoying activities & events that I participated in/attended with her. And this is why we have a Flat Cheryl.
What is a Flat Cheryl you ask? If you have kiddos in elementary school, you may have participated in sending a Flat Stanley to family members. This is based on a children's book about Stanley, who is flat like paper & small enough to fit in an envelope. So to visit faraway places, he's mailed around to experience the world. We have created Flat Cheryls to take to events so we can take pictures with her still.
By having her substitute with us while we were sightseeing & at the fancy party, we were able to create happy memories even though she's not physically here anymore. My friend & I put Flat Cheryl in all sorts of silly places and shared the adventures on Facebook for all our friends to enjoy. It was so therapeutic! And it gave others a chance to participate in the healing by joining in the laughter.
Did this stop all the emotional waves over the weekend? Not at all. At one point I had to rush out of the ball because I was hit with an emotional tsunami. But there were friends right there with me to help & gave us all an opportunity to cry together.
I realize this type of thing isn't for everyone but there are many ways to create happy memories after our loved ones are gone. There will always be pain & heartbreak - I know that will never go away. I also know that Cheryl would be so mad at me if I let her decision to end her life impeded mine. I know she would love the Flat Cheryl photos because we did the same thing for a friend that couldn't travel.
It's okay for us to have fun. And yes - we can continue to create happy memories about those we lost. I feel like it's the best way I can honor her life & it's such a great way for those of us that are still here to commiserate with each other & share the burden of grief.
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