Domestic Violence: The Other Pandemic
- Brooke
- Apr 19, 2021
- 5 min read
TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSION ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
This week, I was reading an article in my local paper about the increased need for domestic violence support recently. I don’t think it’s any surprise that the pandemic has shown scary increases in domestic violence, which makes me sick. While it was great to read in the article that the crisis center they were profiling was getting the support it needs to expand, it points out what a dangerous time it is for abuse victims.
This was an emotional and pretty difficult post to write. As a domestic abuse survivor, it hurts my heart when I read about how lock-down orders protect the whole, but invite so much damage to those in abusive relationships with intimate partners. But this is a topic that needs to be talked about more, not less.
“Survivor” vs. “Victim”
No doubt you’ve heard both “survivor” and “victim” used. So what’s the difference? First, there is no word that is wrong. The general definitions are:
Identifying as a survivor generally means the individual acknowledges the abuse and focuses more on their recovery. “Survivor” is usually used by advocacy groups and service providers.
Identifying as a victim generally means the individual places more emphasis on the abuser and the life-long impacts of the abuse. “Victim” is the legal term so it’s used by law enforcement and courts.
As you can see, both of these words are valid and the use is based on the abused person’s preference. Someone may identify as one or the other or both. If you’re communicating with someone that has experienced abuse and aren’t sure which word to use, it’s completely appropriate to ask them which they identify as.
The Pandemic Within a Pandemic
I saw that phrase in an article from The New England Journal of Medicine and it summed up this issue so perfectly. So I wanted to dig into what this meant. How do we know it’s happening? Why is it happening? Who is most impacted? This is heartbreaking.
An indicator of how volatile this domestic violence pandemic is is the numbers being reported by advocacy groups. When it was announced that there would be a lock-down, they prepared for exponential increases in demand for their support services. And in some areas, that was the case - contacts doubled or more. But the scary trend is the sharp decrease in contacts in some places - as much as half! That means the abuse victims are being silenced.
I think the reason for the increase in violence is pretty obvious - abuse victims are constantly with their abusers during lock-downs. This is giving the abusers opportunities to control the environment in an unprecedented way. The constant proximity and fear leads to victims falling deeper into isolation and depression. And the stress just from the pandemic exacerbates all emotions! And this won’t end with the Covid-19 vaccines. The long-term mental and physical impacts will last lifetimes.
It should come as no surprise that domestic violence disproportionately impacts people of color and lower-income groups. This pandemic has created so much instability - especially economically, but also socially. So when you combine increased unemployment, lower wages, housing insecurity, and hunger, it’s just a matter of time before those with violent tendencies act upon them. And with the injustices towards people of color getting the publicity and visibility they deserve, it adds fuel to the emotional fire for people that are already marginalized.
What can we do?
There are a million things that could be done differently in our society to reduce domestic violence opportunities. That is going to take empathy and grit at a global level and I can’t solve that. But what I can do is provide some very tangible actions that you can take at a personal and local level to help during this domestic violence pandemic.
Advocate for community resources.
There are so many communities that have programs for job training or food banks that those that need them aren’t aware of! You can reach out to your local food bank or government employment departments to find out how you can help. You can also contact your city, county, state, and federal politicians about expanding access to reliable internet and mobile phones in high risk neighborhoods. The ability to reach out is crucial for abuse victims so implementing better infrastructure will give them a better opportunity to get the help they need in whatever form they need to use.
Keep in communication with your family and friends.
Part of feeling isolated that I brought up earlier includes a sense of feeling important or valued which leads to decreased confidence. By reaching out to an abuse victim (whether you know they are or not), you are showing them that you value and support them. This can help relieve just a little bit of that stress and maybe ease some of the tension. And if you suspect there’s abuse happening, don’t be afraid to ask. If you’re not sure how, you can use one of the resources I’ve included, ask a therapist, or use a local domestic violence support group.
If you are a victim, please reach out to anyone. There are options to be anonymous if you don’t feel like your friends or family can help. You can talk to a clinician during any type of office or telemedicine visit. There are ways for you to work with them to have signals or indicators during the visit when your abuser is there or you’re afraid they may retaliate.
This post has stirred up some tough feelings for me. And it may have for you. If that’s the case, just know that you are not alone! We all have value! And although it may seem like this pandemic has created hell for abuse victims, just know that there so many people that will help and support you in whatever way you need it.
Resources
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Hotline: (800) 799-SAFE (7233) or (800) 787-3224 (TTY)
Live chat: https://www.thehotline.org/
StrongHearts Native Helpline
Hotline: (844) 762-8483
Love is Respect – National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline
Hotline: (866) 331 – 9474
Text: 22522
Live chat: https://www.loveisrespect.org/
Pathways to Safety International - assists Americans abroad
Hotline: (833) 723-3833
Email: crisis@pathwaystosafety.org
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender National Hotline
Hotline: (888) 843-4564
Youth Talkline: (800) 246-7743
Senior Helpline: (888) 234-7243
Email: help@LGBThotline.org
Articles
A Pandemic within a Pandemic — Intimate Partner Violence during Covid-19 by Megan L. Evans, M.D., M.P.H., Margo Lindauer, J.D., & Maureen E. Farrell, M.D., The New England Journal of Medicine
As Domestic Violence Survivors Face Unique Challenges Amid Pandemic, Domestic Violence Awareness Month Offers Opportunity for Education by The National Domestic Violence Hotline
Social Determinants of Health by The Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion
The difference between ‘victim’ and ‘survivor’ by Kathryn Augustine, The Daily Northwestern
Utah saw an increased need for domestic violence services during COVID-19, and it hasn’t slowed down by Becky Jacobs, The Salt Lake Tribune
Victim or Survivor: Terminology from Investigation Through Prosecution by Natasha Alexenko, Lt. Jordan Satinsky, Marya Simmons, & RAINN, Sexual Assault Kit Initiative
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