This week, I'm doing things a little differently. Rather than digging into a topic from the headlines, I'm gonna talk about how my brain has been trying to sabotage me lately. Maybe getting this down here will help with slowing down my crazy train.
Let's go back a little to June & July. I sold my house, moved in with my significant other, & got married (we eloped - best decision ever). That is a lot of change in just a few weeks! Thus my first-class ticket on the anxiety crazy train.
For those of you fortunate to not be living with anxiety, I'll try to put how mine manifests into words. So you know that feeling before a big test or a big event? Your heart rate speeds up & you feel like people can see it bouncing out of your chest. And your brain starts racing with doubts. Did you study hard enough? Did you study the correct things? Did you remember to invite the right people to the event? Do you have all of your paperwork? We've all been there. Now add to that constantly looking at all the ways everything can go wrong. And I mean ALL THE WAYS! My brain goes to the most bizarre places in a spiral.
For example, my spouse & I are going to remodel our kitchen. That's usually a bit stressful for anyone. But my lovely brain, which has already been on edge, starts telling me that I'm not going to have a kitchen for a month. That leads to eating out all the time. That leads to me gaining weight & eating foods that I shouldn't so I get sick (I have several dietary restrictions). That leads to me ending up in an ER again because I'm in so much pain that I can't function. That leads to me catching Covid even though I've been vaccinated. And so on...
This can be exhausting! Mental fatigue is a real thing, my friends. And mental fatigue leads to physical fatigue. So then your body gets tired & your mind keeps running 100 miles per hour. It seriously sucks.
I don't want to get into therapies or medications available to help. I just want to give some insight to non-anxiety sufferers with the hope that it will help their relationships with those of us that are living with it. Please be patient with us. Please break things down for us so our brains can hear how the worst-case scenario isn't as bad as what we've convinced ourselves of. If we're spiraling, we may be irritable & irrational for a while so we may need some space so please don't be offended.
To my fellow anxiety peeps - you're not alone even if your brain tries to convince you of it. This condition also does NOT make you weak or incapable - we just have to approach things from a different angle than most. Don't be afraid to say something to your significant other or circle of trust - they can really help you. And please please don't feel like you are any less of a person for being medicated & seeking help.
We are not broken. We just have to navigate life a little differently.
Image credit: Flaticon
I thought some of you would appreciate a design I found from Designs © Suzy Swede This is the design for an awesome laptop sticker. I bought 3!
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