You may have noticed that there was no post last week. This is because I’m working full time and going to school for my Master’s degree ¾ time while helping care for my elderly father who is in poor health. So my schedule can be insane. Add to this my grieving for a dear friend that committed suicide on September 29th.
Last weekend I had my class portfolio project due on Sunday and on Saturday, we had a memorial for my friend that committed suicide. It was a much needed celebration of her life and we enjoyed the company of several people that traveled in from other states. But if you have ever been through grieving for a loved one that has committed suicide, you know how it can scramble your brain in ways that nothing else will.
It literally took every ounce of brain power to finish my class (which I got an A in). I have never been so mentally and emotionally exhausted as I was last week. So I had a decision to make - do I write up a blog post that probably would make no sense and would frustrate me? Or do I just skip a week because I just didn’t have the energy or ability?
Obviously, I chose the latter. I had scrambled eggs for brains.
It’s okay for us to break away from our routine if we need to refocus and re-calibrate. If you’ve been looking for permission from someone, just use my name as the reference. This issue is especially true while you are grieving. I have never experienced anything like it. And as a cis woman that has gone through menopause (in my late 30s due to a hysterectomy for health reasons), I have had my share of scatterbrainedness. (Yes - that’s a word. Mainly because I like the sound of it. Fight me). So add grief to my already struggling brain due to depression and anxiety, and my brain doesn’t know what to do during a down cycle.
When I get scrambled brain, I have to force my brain to refocus. Some ways I do this are:
1. Simple breathing exercises - breathe in for 7 seconds, hold my breath for 7 seconds, and exhale for 7 seconds. After a few cycles of that, I can usually calm everything down and can continue.
2. I’ve recently discovered short meditations that help me, primarily at home. There are tons of them on YouTube.
3. Go for a walk. I’ll do this at work or home. At home, my dog likes it because he gets extra walk time. Unless it’s cold, then my old puppers is not happy about going outside.
4. Get my frustrations out of my head. Usually this means writing things down that are frustrating me or that keep coming into my mind when I should be focusing on something else. I’ve found that giving these thoughts some time reduce how long I fixate on them.
There are a gazillion other ways you can do this, but those are the few things that have worked well for me. Just remember, it is normal for you to get scatterbrained whether it’s due to a mental illness or grief or hormones or whatever. And if that means you have to break your routine to deal with it, give yourself permission to spend time on yourself! The world can wait for you to ground yourself.
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